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Tasting Nostalgia

by St. Jupiter

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about

A true story

lyrics

When I was two or three I went to a daycare center at the hospital where my parents worked
I remember flashes in the vague way that we remember things from a young age
I remember walking single file down the halls to the playground
I remember the brightly colored rooms with posters and toys and other children
I remember what must have been a dozen other kids at least in each room
I remember carpeted raised benches in every room that would make a semi-circle for us to sit on for story time
But most of all I remember the teachers towering over us, not in a threatening way, but in an authoritative way.
They were mythic and all knowing.
I remember flashes in the vague way that we remember a dream we had the night before
Where it makes sense in the context of the dream but when you’re awake things seem unreal, disproportionate

A few years ago I had a chance to revisit the daycare center at the hospital where my parents worked
I remember getting lost trying to find the building, everything around looked new and foreign
I remember walking from the parking lot to the building and it dawning on me how ridiculous it was going to sound to the people working there
I remember thinking “Hey, I’m a random man in a heavy metal shirt in his late 20s, but I used to go to daycare here when I was really little and wanted to taste nostalgia, can I come in?”
But the woman at the front desk said she remembered me. She said she recognized my eyes.
I remember walking down those halls and seeing into those brightly colored rooms with posters and toys and children.
There couldn’t have been more than a handful in each room.
There were carpeted raised steps in a semicircle for the children to sit on for story time.
And in one of the rooms there was a teacher, shorter than me, who I used to be friends with when I was two or three.
We were strangers who hadn’t seen each other in over twenty years.
We had gone to different schools, learned different things, experienced different lives.
But over twenty years ago we swore that one day we would get married, in the vague way a child understands what marriage is.
And she was shorter than me, unfamiliar but unassuming.
I remember this in the vague way you recall a funny story you heard once and wanted to share it.
Where you have a clear enough picture but the encounter was ultimately not exciting or traumatic enough to leave a lasting impression.
Like a dream you couldn’t be bothered with remembering.

credits

released July 27, 2022

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St. Jupiter Columbia, South Carolina

One man ambient project by Alec Edelson.

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